I started blogging about a year ago, not really sure exactly the direction I was going with it. I was having a lot of those “ah-ha” moments, and I felt they needed to be shared. Maybe to see it on paper, maybe to inspire others…maybe just to say I have a blog. Either way, I love blogging! I love everything about it.
I have to come clean, though, and say I’ve been struggling for the past few months with writing new posts. It’s not that I haven’t had ideas to write about; it’s not that at all. I felt like my blog needed a new face. It needed a new look. I may have accidentally pigeon holed my blog into a self-help-only type of read.
Not a big deal. I was writing what I felt to be true at the time. This isn’t bad, except for two things: 1) I want to write about other stuff, like mascara. 2) I don’t want to be identified by a self-help blog. This raises the question then…Why?
I’ve written previously about my dad passing away in 2009. After he passed, I naturally felt like I needed to be strong. I took off a week from school and work, and was back to business as usual. What would proceed over the next four years was something of a train wreck. Not realizing it at the time, but the biggest part of me had just exited the earth. The largest part of my identity had moved on. Issues. I had some issues. Not only that, the rest of my identity was wrapped up in things that were all temporary…and earthly.
Sometimes I ask myself if I’ll always be referring back to 2009….when my dad died….and my life changed…to that a sad story. Are my friends sick and tired of hearing about this sob dramatic event because I can’t seem to pin point why my life just doesn’t seem right? I don’t feel like myself? Like the person I see in my head? Here’s the thing-when I finally stopped talking, thinking, doing, running, panting, I listened. You know what I heard? God. This episode, this point in time was also a turning point, a climax, a change in direction, and a wake up call. Things don’t happen by accident! The earth, the people, our lives, our jobs are part of a design. Think about it. No really, think about your life.
The biggest change in me, the writer of this previously known self-help blog, is that I don’t rely on myself anymore for help. Umm, ya I tried that for the past 4 ish years and I failed, miserably. You’d think after the whole restaurant scene (See Blog, “The Shack Place”) I would’ve realized that some stuff is just too big to handle. It. Is. Ok. We’re not intended to handle everything, and we’re not intended to stay the same. I didn’t take into consideration when I started blogging that I would grow as time went on, and I guess my writing would, too.
Those situations in life that make us look back and say, “How did we make it through that? How did we survive that? How crazy was that?” are not random events that randomly happen to random people. This world does seem crazy and out of control; we create that. There is order, there is sturdiness, and there is steadfastness. I found it…well, he found me. I’m telling you, it’s awesome. So this is basically a note to let you know that I’ll be talking about a lot more stuff like food, and to let you know that God is great….all the time.